Perplexed by My Son’s Life

Soon, in a matter of days or weeks, my son will make his entrance into the world.  9 months – he is growing and being shaped and formed.  1 day – he is here.  He will be in front of me, God-willing, and there is no turning back (since I hope to be an active father).  Hopefully, he will open his eyes (after yelling out that he is here – present in the hospital room) and see me.  Of course, he won’t “know” me, but this face (my face) will be something for him to get used to and grow with as he matures in days and months and years to come.

I am amazed at how he is to arrive me.  But I am perplexed by his growth inside of my wife’s womb.  I mean one day he is an embryo, then a fetus, and continues to develop as someone with legs and arms and a heartbeat.  My goodness…that heartbeat!  Feeling his heartbeat (one day it felt like it was coming through my wife’s stomach) caused me to just smile.  Now, I just wait for his appearance in the world.  It is like he is here in one sense, but not here in another sense.  He is here in that he exists as a human being (my wife can attest to that), but he also not here in that he is not in this world without being attached to and inside of his mother’s womb.  The human life truly is quite astonishing, even at its very beginning.

Then, I am amazed at the hopes and dreams that come out of me that I desire for him.  I know that he will make his own decisions.  I understand that he will fail in some areas as I have failed in some areas and I am bound to fail in some ways as a parent.  But I still hope.  I have no grasp of the future, so I just hope, for good things.  Trials and tribulations will come, but I have decided to only hope in the grace and mercy of God.  It has not let me down thus far, even through some unhappy times.

Anyway, life has begun.  Elijah’s life has begun.  *sigh*  Now, his mother and will see what will become of this life.  I am even perplexed in my hope.